Starting Fresh

by 8:11 PM
I've been thinking a lot about how to get back my “creative spirit”. I love to take photos, write, even draw although I am not the best at it. I just do not know how, this is going to sound slightly odd, but ever since that person stole my camera out of my car last October, it’s like they took my creativity with them. Basically I felt like I was sucker punched in the creative gut. I stopped blogging, I obviously stopped taking pictures, and was drawing very little. Honestly, I don’t understand why it bothered me to the point where it started to affect all aspects of my creative life. But then you get in the rut and even when you have the tools available to you again you still don’t pick it right back up. Both times that I've gone out to take pictures recently has been a result of Sarah's encouragement, not my own usual want to take photos. I always feel so good after too, like I have revitalized my soul (did I sound hippie enough right there?). Yet for some reason it’s not second nature anymore to just grab a camera every day and do some photo shoots or to randomly type out a blog, even though those are some of my favorite things to do. I think I've just gotten to a point where I take both things too seriously, I get too caught up in whether the result is perfect or not, I can’t focus on just letting my creativity out. 
Blogging used to be my favorite thing back when it was just Abbey and I that would use it as “letters” back and forth to each other, then I decided to make a new one, that was getting quiet a few readers and it stressed me out to where I don’t think I have touched that blog in almost a year, so here we go again, tempting fate to see how long I can keep this one going. I think the same thing happened with my photography too, working professionally for Liberty, although I learned a lot and it was a great experience, I started to focus too much on the “whats going to be the best for the graphic design team to use” and less on the “I just want to take pictures that express me”. 
I also feel like as a creative person it is hard for the Internet to not kill my motivation to create things. Even though it can be inspiring to look at other peoples photo’s, blogs, etc. It can also create this feeling inside that you will not do as well as that other person and that feeling is just crap. Number one, that person is going to feel that same way when they scroll through art on the Internet, they just are. Number 2, even if theirs better than anything you’ll do, who effing cares? Art is something you should do for yourself. Oh man I can already here all the rebuttal to that previous sentence. However, before you start ranting just yet, here’s what I mean, with the development of Social Media it has become almost too easy to share your creative things and can make you feel like you should be doing creative things to make sure the people who are going to see it on Facebook or Twitter like them, but at the end of the day, you are the one who should be getting the most fulfillment out of it. I mean yes, we do all want our art to speak to others, but sometimes we need it to speak to ourselves (seriously hippie again, maybe I’m just really a hippie now). For an instance of what I mean, drawing is something I love to do, but don’t really share with anyone, it’s something I find really therapeutic and will do regardless of how awful I am at it, it's somethings I can get fulfillment out of, but the rest of the world probably would not.
All this ranting to say, I think I am finally getting my creative mojo back, I find myself wanting to do more (as I sit here at 11 O’clock at night writing a blog post). I just need to remember that regardless of how anyone else feels about my art, as long as I am happy with it that is all that matters.

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